Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize