Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it hurts more in the daytime
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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