he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
