I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
