those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize