His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Is Oprah even human
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
