if i can run in heels then i can drive
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
