I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
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