So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I deserve this hangover.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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