If i could tip my vagina, i would.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
