I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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