I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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