just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
soo... how was my night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
