Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
