we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
