census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
