Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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