I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
