Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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