As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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