I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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