If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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