giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
