Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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