I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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