is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
