I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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