Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I need a burrito and a hug.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
