ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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