Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
