i just had sex bonerless
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
