Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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