and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
