omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
