no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
