My brain says no but my pants say off.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
