R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
