I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
