Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
