There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
