There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
