So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
