Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
