This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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