Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
