he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
