you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
