my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
