yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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