I just made out with a guy for $7.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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