i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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