i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I cockslap morals
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
