I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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