All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We have started to decorate penises.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
