Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
