when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
