he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
